Why Convening Isn't the Same as Collaborating

Have you ever sat in a room and felt the kind of tension you could cut with a knife? There’s a kind of energy that almost seems to crackle, and no one knows what will light the whole room up in flames. 

It doesn’t matter if it’s 50,000 people watching a football game or 5 people in a really tense team meeting - the feeling is the same. 

I felt that tension a few years ago, as I listened to a health department lay out its strategic plan to prevent violence - without having talked to a single organizer or community member in the room who was doing the work day in and day out. 

There’s this kind of “thud” that happens in those situations - as the big announcement falls flat. Eyes start narrowing, arms start crossing, heads start tilting in skepticism. 

Trust starts looking for the emergency exit. 

50 people convened in the room that day.

Sitting in the same space at the same time around the same topic. 

But collaboration was nowhere in sight. 

Because convening and collaborating are not the same thing. 

Collaboration is active. It requires all parties to take action - in the form of listening, adjusting, conceding, responding, coordinating. Moving together strategically. 

Convening can happen with a calendar invite. 

Collaboration requires us to move - and not alone. We have to move in coordination with others. See where they are, measure the distance, adjust, and keep moving. 

Years ago, I read an article comparing collaboration to starling murmurations. How do thousands of birds move together to create these beautiful, living shapes in the sky? 

Intentional spacing, consistent and frequent communication, and a great deal of situational awareness. High trust (and some innate bird instinct) is needed to ensure that each bird will move when it needs to and nobody is intentionally running into each other. 

I’ve been a part of some collaborative initiatives like this - not many. Trust feels in short supply these days. But when it’s there, we have honest conversations about all the things that push a movement forward:

Spacing: Honoring the strengths of each organization and person, staying in the lane meant for us, and giving one another space when necessary to shift or course correct. This is where movement builds momentum.

Communication: Not a passive newsletter or agenda-driven meeting. Honest and transparent updates, courageous conversations, and meaningful points of connection. This is where the status quo can be challenged.

Awareness: Paying attention to our surroundings - not only the macro environment of policies, politics, and the economy, but the micro realities of facial expressions, tense shoulders, and tired eyes. This is where care is taken. 

Maybe that’s why real collaboration feels so rare.

It asks more of us than attendance. More than alignment on paper. More than a shared logo at the bottom of a flyer. 

Collaboration is not static. 

It moves.

It adjusts.

It pays attention.

And when it works, it creates the kind of momentum that no single organization could generate alone. 

The questions I keep coming back to:

• Why is trust in short supply? What helps build more trust between organizations, sectors, and movements?

• Who holds power to convene versus collaborate? Is one more equitable than the other?

This idea is part of ongoing exploration through The Work Between - a space for nonprofits, funders and communities to reflect on how we learn together and shift systems for the common good.