The Invisible Load of Collaboration

I was interviewing a student for an internship, when she asked me a question:

“What’s the most rewarding part of your job?”

I thought for a moment, then responded:

People. And not just my coworkers - they’re awesome. But also amazing community partners and colleagues I collaborate with. 

Her next question was, “What’s most challenging about your job?”

I thought again. And was surprised by my answer. With a little laugh, I responded:

People. 

There are probably jobs that exist that require little to no interaction with other people. 

Those jobs don’t exist in community work. The very nature of community is to exist - and be in relationship - with other people. 

What often gets ignored is the energy that goes into those relationships - the invisible load of collaboration - the work between organizations. 

Because it’s invisible, it’s easy to forget how critical that work is - the glue that holds us all together and the elements that strengthen collaboration, resulting in meaningful impact in our communities. 

There are probably dozens of books, theories, and models that articulate clear pillars of successful collaboration. 

Over time, I’ve started noticing a few conditions that seem to shift collaboration from transactional to transformational. 

Not perfectly. Not every time. 

But consistently enough that I pay attention when they’re present - and when they’re missing. 

Trust

Trust changes the kinds of conversations people are willing to have. Without it, we stay careful. Diplomatic. Protective of our organizations, our funding, our reputations. 

We say the safe thing instead of the true thing. 

When trust exists, people take risks together. 

What does trust look like?

• Leaving our agendas at the door

• Follow through

• Curiosity over judgement

• Generosity over competition

• Shared decision-making

Alignment

Alignment isn’t about everyone doing the same thing, but agreeing to move in the same direction. 

It honors each unique role of the diverse network of partners needed to shift things. Some organizations thrive in the advocacy space, while others provide excellent quality services to the community. 

Some are small enough to be nimble and responsive, while others are large enough to grab attention and make a statement. 

We are familiar with misalignment - we experience it daily. It often makes this work feel harder than it needs to be. 

With a toddler in the house, we watch a lot of Disney movies, and as I write this, I keep coming back to a line from Encanto:

“Lay down your load.” 

Something about that lands deeply for me in community work. We all have something to offer. But we were never meant to carry all of it alone.

Alignment gives us the opportunity to make change together.

What does alignment look like?

• Agreeing on shared goals and outcomes - not activities

• Celebrating the unique strengths of each partner

• Knowing when to stay in our lane and let others do their part

• Communication that stays open - even when things get hard

Shared Understanding

We’ve all been to meetings where people throw out an alphabet soup of acronyms - shrouding initiatives, agencies, and datasets in letter combinations that need a codebreaker to understand. 

We’ve also had conversations or meetings that felt like they were occurring in alternative universes. What did you come here to talk about? 

Confusion creates distance - and distance makes collaboration harder.

When we share understanding, we can share learning - we can celebrate the wisdom, knowledge, and skills that we bring together. 

What does shared understanding look like? 

• Shared terminology and definitions

• Transparent and accessible communication

• Commitment to data and lived experience/community voice

• Sharing ahas and asking brave questions

Honest Conversations 

When trust, alignment, and shared understanding exist, we can have honest conversations. And that is where the magic of collaboration happens. In spaces of connection, not contracts. Meetings with purpose, not agendas. Partnerships that are transformational, not transactional. 

These are the conversations we’re usually having after the meeting or conference. They take place in the hallway, the parking lot, via text message later that day. 

When we push these conversations into the open, collaboration not only becomes transformative, but sustainable. 

What do honest conversations look like?

• Letting go of the fear of failure

• Setting audacious goals

• Showing up as humans in the work 

• Caring for ourselves - and each other

The questions I keep coming back to:

• What do we have to let go of in order to embrace alignment?

• What would it look like to center the honest conversations - shift them from the parking lot to a coffee shop? Sit, connect. Breathe. 

• What other magic ingredients are there for transformational collaboration?

When trust, alignment, shared understanding, and honest conversations exist, the invisible load of collaborative work becomes visible - and manageable - because we realize we aren’t doing it alone. 

Collaboration becomes sustainable when invisible labor is acknowledged collectively. 

The chance to lay down some of what we were never meant to carry alone.

This idea is part of ongoing exploration through The Work Between - a space for nonprofits, funders and communities to reflect on how we learn together and shift systems for the common good.