The Space We're Missing

When is the last time you connected with someone about your work?

I mean really connected. 

Not a transactional exchange in the name of partnership-building. Not a quick update or calendar-driven conversation. 

But an honest conversation about how the work actually feels.

How hard it is.

How tired you are.

How alone it can feel.

I was reminded of this recently. I had one of those back-to-back meeting days, and this was an in-person coffee in the middle of it. I really didn’t want to go. I almost cancelled. 

But the weather was warming up, and I don’t have a window in my office, so I figured I’d at least get some sunlight. 

That coffee lasted an hour and a half. And it reminded me why this work matters. 

So many of us are thinking in similar ways - asking the same questions, searching for the same kind of meaning or connection. But it’s hard to find that in the middle of the day-to-day.

We need moments that interrupt the pace.

Moments that help us look up.

Moments that remind us we’re not the only ones carrying these questions. 

If we are resource rich but systems poor, part of the problem may be this: we don’t have enough spaces to actually think together. 

I see this with the team I lead. Direct service work is, by nature, reactive. There’s always something urgent. Something immediate. Something that needs attention right now. 

But shifting from reactive to intentional requires space. 

Space to pause. To reflect. To make sense of what’s happening - not just respond to it. 

And that kind of space doesn’t happen by accident. It has to be created. 

Sometimes we think of space as physical or temporal. We say things like, “I need space.” But what we’re often naming is something deeper:

The need to process. 

The need to be seen.

The need to think alongside someone else. 

So what does it actually take to create that kind of space - especially in our work?

What does it look like to come together in a way that moves beyond coordination and into real connection?

I’ve experienced it in different settings - over coffee, sitting in a circle, even occasionally over Zoom. 

And I’ve also experienced the opposite. Meetings where we disengage. Where we watch the clock. Where we leave feeling like our time - and maybe even our perspective - didn’t matter. 

We know what disconnection feels like. But we don’t talk as much about what real connection looks like at work. 

We haven’t normalized things like:

• Joy

• Honest gratitude

• Even something as simple - and rare - as feeling understood

And yet, those are the conditions that make deeper thinking and collaboration possible.

This isn’t about connection for connection’s sake. 

It’s about what becomes possible when people have the space to think together. 

When we step outside of our individual roles and start to see the systems we’re part of. 

When we can name patterns, ask better questions, and begin to align - not just our work, but our thinking. 

That kind of space is missing. And without it, we default to what’s urgent instead of what’s important. 

One of my hopes for this work is to help create more of those spaces. 

Spaces where people who care deeply about their communities can come together - not to perform collaboration, but to actually experience it. 

Not to present solutions, but to sit with questions. 

Not to represent their organizations, but to show up as people. 

Because underneath all of this, most of us want the same thing. Not in a vague performative way. But in a very real, very human way:

To make things better. 

The questions I keep coming back to:

• What does it take to create authentic connection in our work?

• What kind of space make that possible?

• And are we willing to show up differently if it exists?

This is what I’m beginning to explore through The Work Between. 

Not as a program, but as a practice.

A way of creating space - for reflection, for connection, and for the kind of thinking that might actually move things forward.

This idea is part of ongoing exploration through The Work Between - a space for nonprofits, funders and communities to reflect on how we learn together and shift systems for the common good.